Foundational Friday

Use the weekend to be more adventurous. Could this be the time for you to try something new? If you are in a long term relationship, this still applies to you.

Every relationship has a structure, and it starts with the foundation. A strong foundation is built on ideals, principles and values that you both will live by. If you haven’t actually talked this though with each other, it is a must for healthy living. What you come up with will govern your behavior and the way you function as a couple.  So this Friday, do something in honor of that foundation you are building.  You can do something to honor your cultures or celebrate a win in your life.  Constantly feeding your souls will be an expression of you and it will help you both live a more fulfilling life together.

Are Black Men Disturbed When They See A Black Woman With A White Man?

This is a good question that often comes up in the black community.  Remembering back to my high school days when I dated a white guy and I felt a little uncomfortable because I wasn’t sure how others would perceive me. The thought of being called a “sell-out” was on my mind back then.  Although I grew up in a very white city, I still wondered if the few black people would shun an eye at me for dating outside of my race.

There was a time when an interracial relationship would draw up the picture of a black man and a white woman. That’s the only picture that came to mind and I think that was true for most people 20 years ago.  Now, we see all forms of races coming together for love. For some reason, it seems that when a black person is with another race, it still sparks some tension for some families.  If you are in a relationship that has no struggles, consider yourself extremely blessed.  I know I do.

Now let’s take a closer look at a black woman with a white man.  I reviewed ten opinions on this question, “Are black men disturbed when they see a black woman with a white man?” and I want to speak to what I learned.  Only two people had a problem with it, stating that the black woman is always more beautiful than the white guy. Seriously? What does that have to do with anything.  Another person felt that the black women are probably closer to being white supremacists.  Talk about ridiculous.

I’m happy to report that most people felt that people can date whomever they want and wherever they find love is good, no matter what the race is.

Do you know of someone that is disturbed by you dating outside of your race? Share your story here.

 

Interfaith Dating II

So I spoke to my sister today and she took me outside of my harmonious bubble and made me think again about my thoughts on interfaith dating.  No matter what anyone believes, it is happening. People are having interfaith relationships that lead to marriage and sometimes divorce.  It’s not always dandy.  I was reminded about reincarnation beliefs and the Hindi faith that worships multiple gods and the free-spirited people that pray out to the universe and more.  I have respect for all religions and all beliefs, however I must say that I believe that it would be very difficult for some of these faiths to come together in marriage.  That being said, I would like to hear from interfaith couples that are living well and even not so well, so that we can learn from your experience.

Interfaith Dating

In this time of chaos, we must find every way possible to rise above hatred and ignorance. Faith is something that I value highly in my life.  I am not about religion. I am about faith in my living God.  I am a Christian married to a Muslim.  I am only defined by religion because the world has labeled me this way based on my belief in Jesus Christ.  My faith is about my relationship with God.  For my husband his faith is also about his relationship with God. Now I can get into more details, but the bottom line is that we both believe in God and we both pray to God.  In fact, we often pray together.

With the current events in the USA, religion is playing a strong role in this so called free nation and juxtaposing everything any faithful person is about.  As a Christian that is married to a Muslim, I am proud to say that my Christian beliefs do not condone the idea of banning another faith in my country.  Whatever your faith is, dig down deep and think about the knowledge you have about your faith. What do you believe about being a light to others and serving others?  Is it right to turn people away based on how they pray or who they pray to?  I get it, be proud of your faith, whatever that is, but does it include bringing others down in order to lift yourself up?  It doesn’t work! A nation is nothing without its people and so far with the current states of the United States, does not feel United.

Since I like to bring people together based on our differences and I want to help prevent religious bigotry here are few things that I love about my interfaith relationship and how it works for us:

  1. We share the same set of values, which ultimately was based on the principles we learned to live by through God word.
  2. We both love Jesus.
  3. We both have incredible compassion and loves to serve others.
  4. I think my husband knows more stories in his Holy book than I know in mine.

If you are considering dating someone of another faith, you still need to know your own boundaries.  I am strong in my Christian faith, yet I am open to other faiths because I know that God is inclusive.  People are usually a certain faith because of where they were born and the conditions that surrounded them.  If I was born in Iran, I would obviously be Muslim.  As we become adults and find our way, we make our own choices, but even those choices are preconceived and have some bias into it.  I know what my boundaries are and if I was to ever consider converting religions, I would still have the same faith that I have today, which is the hope and spirit that lives within in me from the power of the Holy Spirit that comes from the Almighty God.

#NoBan #NoWall #lovematters #lovetrumpshate #interfaith #interracialdating

What to Do When Mom Objects Your New Black Girlfriend

Every parent has an idea of who they see their child choosing as a companion. We ourselves have an idea of our perfect mate.  Life has its turns, spirals, and surprises.  I grew up in a mostly white area and I remember there was a German family that lived around the corner from our house. The parents were racist, raising up five children who fortunately, did not catch the racist bug.  In fact one of the children had her own set of children that ended up choosing to be with a black man and had bi-racial babies.  Proof that no one can predict which way cupid will shoot his arrow.  When a love connection is made, it is too strong to rip apart.

So what do you do when you decide to date someone that mommy isn’t going to be excited about?  I recommend that you hang out with your new girlfriend long enough to decide if you are comfortable with her.  When you know her and YOURSELF well enough, you will feel more confident introducing her to your mom.  You have to be bold and handle everything with love.  If you are already ready to defend your new gf, then it means you are assuming the worst.  Just assume that your mom is going to come from a place of love to. Be casual.  If mom speak up with shame, then you must still respect your mom and speak candidly and kindly from you heart.

Being respect is due because she gave birth to you.  At the same time, you have to be strong with who you are and what you believe. After all, mom has raised you. If she trusts in the good job she has done with you, then she ought to trust your choice.  Let mom know the things that you like about your gf and share some of the unknown interesting things about her. This will begin to open mom’s eyes and her heart.

One step at a time.  It is important to teach your mom along the way. That’s the only way she is going to learn. So don’t hide or keep them apart. Slowly merge their two worlds.

 

Dating Abroad With an Open Heart

I follow Oneika the Traveller and I was so excited to see that she is in an interracial relationship. Have you seen her love?  She is a Canadian-Jamaican black woman married to a tall hot German guy that she met while living in Hong Kong! How cool is that?  She shared her story on her blog and I wanted to share it with you too.  She also gives tips on how you can date abroad.

Take a read through and while you are reading think about the places that you have traveled to.  Also think about where you are planning to go this year. With a fresh mind and an open heart you never know where you will find love.

http://www.oneikathetraveller.com/5-tips-for-dating-abroad.html

 

2017 Interracial Dating Guide

This is the year of the Unusual.  Different things are happening all around us and we must take note of them.  We have to be unusual too. You have got to see the light in all the shadows of darkness.

Now when it comes to dating the same applies. If you are tired of dating, it is time to see dating in an unusual way.  If you love dating and want to date more, you too can experience the unusual this year.

Here are 7 points for interracial dating in 2017. Let me know what you think.

  1. Date someone that you least expected to date. You know that guy with the nerdy haircut, the funky red shoes, and the freckled covered face. Yah…him. Invite him for a coffee and get to know him a little bit.
  2. Just hang out. Nothing else is expected of you.
  3. Be interested for the sake of learning.
  4. Chivalry works in every culture.
  5. Just be yourself. I know you hear this all the time, but really, people waste valuable time pretending to be someone they are not.
  6. Don’t be so uptight. Live a little!
  7. Learn a new language and practice.  In other words, if you want to learn to speak French, try dating a Francophone.
  8. If you have been dating for a while, take a trip together to get out of your usual environment. This will drive you to learn even more about each other.

Ready for a place with fresh minds, hearts, and souls.

Today marks another day to observe Martin Luther King Jr. and his accomplishments that still impact our nation and beyond.  I am asking myself, “What have I done to really make a difference in my community?”  I’m not going to beat myself up on this thought though because every little thing I do is with a choice and as long as I am positive, I am giving light to this world.

We are still fighting for more peace, more diversity, and searching for a better understanding of cultures and races. Obama made a great comment in his last official speech as the POTUS. He said that our hearts must change and that laws will not be enough. I have to agree.  For the purpose of living in harmony, a ton of laws can be put in place to attempt to push people to behave and respect others, but as long as we have a population of people with an unwillingness to open their hearts, we will never have harmony. People need to dig down real deep into their hearts and treat each other as they wish to be treated. It is so basic yet so difficult.

I am so ready for a place with fresh minds, hearts, and souls that walk with love all day long.  If that’s you too, let’s make a promise to spread more love with the words we use and the eye contact we make.

Reflect!

Why I Love Yara Shahidi

If you haven’t heard her name before, you may be familiar with her character, Zoey in the TV show, Blackish.  She is spunky, fun, has her own personality and is not afraid to speak her mind both in the show and in real life.

She was born of an interracial couple, her mother is African American and her father is originally from Iran.  Her family is intelligent and seem to have a very close relationship.

I love Yara Shahidi because she is herself. She is not caught up in any games or trying to be something that she is not.  She loves art, education, and activism and uses these to carry out whatever message she needs to.  I like to say she is a good influence for today’s youth. In fact, she is a good influence for all ages.  As you listen to her speak in the video below, I’m sure you will love her too.

Why I Love Yara Shahidi

Rachel Zain from Suits is with Prince Harry

A Royal Interracial Couple

About a month ago, my sister texted me to share a bit of spicy news. Here’s how our text chat went:

Sister:”Prince Harry is dating Jamaican sprinter Elaine Thompson. How’s that for some news!!!”

Me: Very Interesting.

Sister: (includes the link to a British article and picture)

Me: hmmmm….

Sister: Nice to see that. It shows he has his own sense of self.  Like his mom did.

I did a little surfing on the internet and saw conflicting information. I saw that he was dating the woman who plays Rachel Zain on the TV series, Suits.  So I just said forget this gossip for now.  Let it be.  Then I took a trip and as I was traveling through the Heathrow airport, I grabbed several newspapers before boarding my plane and what do you know… There was the new Royal couple on the cover of a UK newspaper.

Why do I love this? I think it’s obvious, but it means more if I write about it.  I don’t believe anyone is better than others just because they are labeled as royal, however, the Commonwealth still exists and has influence on nations globally. Let me say that it is extremely awesome that Prince Harry is not afraid to go against the norm.

First, he is expected to date and marry someone that is in the same socio-economic status. Second, he is dating a women of color!  We don’t know how far into the future he will take Meghan Markel, but even if it is for a short time, it is a bold statement to the world. I want an interracial relationship and I have no objections.

Go against the norm. Don’t be like everybody else.  Prince Harry is always looked at like a bit of a rebel and now he is looking more like a man with .