Interracial Dating: When People Look at You

PEople

Sometimes when you venture out to places you will notice that people look at the two of you.  Before you begin to think negatively, put yourself in check and anticipate the best. Whenever people look at us, I always suppose that they are delighted to see such an interesting looking couple walking hand in hand and that our love is flowing in the air.

Leave a reply and let me know if this has happened to you and how you responded.

 

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How to Meet Someone New Anywhere and Anytime

young-girl-at-the-coffee-shop

People are always complaining that it is so hard to meet a love interest.  I’m here to testify that it is only as hard as you make it.  Yes, it is difficult to meet the right match for a longterm commitment, however the introduction part is easy and that is why you have to start doing this fast.

Create Open Space

Have you ever heard that you need to be more open?  If you have been following my blog and Instagram @InterracialTips then you know that this is a recurring message. While you are sitting in a coffee shop, reading a book or on your laptop, try to sit in a position facing outward.  This is a more inviting position for you to look up and out to someone and for that person to do the same towards you.  If you are sitting alone, try not to spread out all of your things to cover the who table. Leave some space for someone to feel welcome to sit with you.

SMILE

If you see someone that you think is interesting, smile.  If you look away without making eye contact, how is this person to know that you are welcome to a chat?  A smile is a warm welcome and also sort of an invitation to be friendly to each other.

Say Hello

It’s that simple.  If you are in line at a bank, at a coffee shop, at the school book store, at the gas station, or wherever you find yourself, look up and look around you and then say “Hi”.  I see too many people glued to their phones and missing the opportunity to make connections in person with people all around them.  Say hello to the guy in front, ask the girl beside you how her day is going and so on.

Be Interested and Interesting

This requires you having a good sense of intuition and being able to pick up on social cues.  It’s good to ask a person how their day is going, but if he/she is not very receptive the conversation may not even start.  You want to show some interest and let the conversation and vibe flow. The last thing you want is to be asking a ton of questions and only getting one word answers back. Then you feel like a nosy loser with a little bit of creep.  A good conversation can flow like this:

“Hello”

“How is your day going”

“It’s funny how we stand in line all this time and then get to front and still try to figure out what to order”

“I already know what I’m getting.”

“Aww…nice. A decisive woman.”

“You better believe it. I always go with my favorite, caramel latte.”

“I usually go through drive through, but I decided to come in and chill for a bit”

“Cool. Are you heading to the festival this weekend?”

“I am not sure…”

And go on from there….

Be as Natural and as Genuine as You Can Be

I know you’re tired of hearing that you must be authentic.  This advice will never get tired because people are often trying to be someone they are not.  Remember, you’re looking to make lasting relationships and the best way to do that is by being true to yourself and to the people you interact with.  It’s much easier to just be yourself.

 

I’d love to hear your suggestions and things that have worked for you out there. Leave your comments below.

Thanks for readings.

A.S.

 

 

Traveling As An Interracial Couple

NO.2 GUIDE

We traveled through 12 countries together and I can say that we LOVE to travel and I can share with you how we get through our adventures no matter what.  We both have an open mind. If you have been following this blog for awhile, then you know that I keep saying that being open creates peace and more harmony AND love.

I get excited when I see other interracial couples hanging out, especially when I travel abroad.  In most cases though, the interracial couples I see are also travelers from the North America.  As I traveled through Colombia, Ecuador, Brazil, Chile, I didn’t see any interracial couples that were native to land.  That could be a for a few reasons, which would all be assumptions on my part.  The simple and obvious statement is that there is less diversity outside of North America.  We can’t expect to see a lot of interracial couples, so we might stand out in some countries.  It won’t necessarily be bad, but we might have to get used to people looking because it is still sort of unusual in some places.

Interracial couples used to take into consideration, safe places for interracial couples to travel.  Couples had to plan which highways were safe to drive and what road stops were the most suitable.  We know racism still exists in the world and there may still be some areas in the world where couples have to decide whether they feel welcome or not. I am happy to report that so far, we have received nothing, but love wherever we have gone. People have looked at us here and there, but I believe it is because we look interesting. Really, it is true.  I don’t mind people looking at us because I would look at us if I didn’t see couples like us very often. I would look with love and interest to no more about their life.

For our travel adventures, we usually look for a deal and we are quiet spontaneous.   We like to look online for the best deals and bids and we go where we can score an awesome experience with culture and indulge in great food.  We look at blogs and Tripadvisor for sights to see and things to do.  Usually my husband leaves it to me to pick the places I want to see. Since we are a casual, easy going couple with no kids, we are super flexible and we sometimes roll with the punches.

I love looking at pictures and often look at Instagram pics of the cities we are going to. No matter where we go, we have an open mind because we are expecting something different.  We are different from each other and we welcome differences because that creates a colorful life. A life that is filled with more beauty. So that’s it, just have an open mind when you travel. You have to have an open mind with each other and with the people that you interact with. Travel smart and always be safe.

 

Color Blind or Color Aware

Ice Cream Party

I often hear people say that race does not matter and that they do not see color.  They say “I am colorblind” or use #colorblind in their social media posts. This comes with great intentions, I’m sure of it.  For me, I prefer to say that I see color. Now let me tell you why and what this means for me.

I embrace my black race. My parents came from Africa and I therefore am African and share a North American culture with my heritage.  Everywhere I go, I am black.  My husband is Iranian. He looks Iranian to me, but when we travel especially to Spanish speaking countries, people seem to think he has Latin heritage.  Needless to say we stand out.  I’m okay with that.  People see what they see.  There is no blindness happening here.

The world was created with a variety of nature and wonder, which includes humankind.   We exist in different shapes, sizes, and color and it is evident and beautiful.  God created color. We learn from an early age about primary colors and mixing color palettes to create even more bright, bold, dark, and fancy colors.  We must see color, embrace, experience and show off the beauty of all colors.  I choose to be color aware because I lack if I choose not to see color.

In good faith, I know what people mean, when they say they are color blind. They are simply stating that they will not discriminate and they have love for all people.  I think it is important that we not ignore the colors (the races) that exist. It is real, so let’s keep it real and talk about race.  Don’t avoid that we are different. Instead let our differences bring us together.

Love for all race and color,

A.S.