Interfaith Dating and What You Have to Discuss Before The Wedding

Even if you believe in love at first sight, you don’t really know if you will be walking down the aisle, saying your “I dos” and living happily ever after.  In fact, your faith may not even include walking down any aisle.  You may be super charged and excited to have your wedding before you discover all the obstacles that come into play.  Let’s put that aside for a moment.  You ought to be excited about the big event and what it means for you as you plan to spend your life together.  Key point here, plan to spend your life together.  I want to give some pointers about planning because you will have to face your differences and it won’t be good if you have swept it under the rug.  I believe that our differences can enrich us and bring us closer together, but you must have open dialogue.

Here are a few tips to help you get through your differences:

  1. Talk about your faiths openly.  What you like about it and what you don’t.  How your faith will be actualized in your life as a couple and as you build your family. Do not deny that you have differences.
  2. Understand the culture that you plan to create for your family and how both faiths weaves in. Let love be the root of everything because it is.
  3. Be open about experiencing each others faith.  It doesn’t mean it is time to convert. If converting doesn’t make sense to you, why would you do it?  Don’t lose your identity. Remember your culture and faith shaped who you are today and that is who your partner fell in love with. Work together and remember each other needs to be true to their identity.
  4. Don’t have expectations of each other unless you both agree to them.  If you’re planning to continue going to the temple and you think he will start going after the wedding…guess again my dear. That likely isn’t going to happen.

The main thing that gets us through everything is communication and what is most important is that no matter what we share the same values. We have the same dreams and desires.  Build a strong foundation and start building that foundation before your get married.

With love,

AS

Advertisements

How to Deal With an Argument

You both grew up in a different household with different cultures.  Now when you come together, you may notice that certain things annoy you about your partner.  So what should you do?

I remember we had a recent dispute about time management and how I manage my time.  Funny enough, my husband doesn’t manage his time perfectly either, but he makes it a point to let me know that I can do better.  While he is right, I still want to debate about how wrong he is. I grew up with a laid back mentality.  So I take things at the pace that I want to complete something.  I am organized in my own way.  He is always in a rush to get things done.

Here are some tips on how to have a decent discussion rather than shouting and spewing crazy things at each other when you face a disagreement about a certain matter.

  1. Listen to each other carefully.
  2. Give each other a chance to respond with no interruptions.
  3. Speak with love.
  4. Remember all the positive things about each other and say them too.
  5. You do not have to agree on everything, but you should respect each other and found a happy place to heal and move on from the matter.

 

Akua

So you are dating a cheater, now what?

So you are dating a man and when you first met he seemed charming and responsible. You got to know him a little more and you still felt he was a good match for you.  Before you know it, you are calling him your boyfriend and the relationship is progressing pretty fast.  As you begin to fall in love with him, he is beginning to show signs of cheating and less interest in his relationship with you.  You previously heard that men of his kind (or race) cheat, but this is not always true. Plus, the guy you snagged was not like this at all.  Unfortunately, you just discovered that he is cheating and you don’t know what to do.

What should you do now?

This dilemma is not about race, this is about a man that betrayed you.  First, decide if you are okay with dating this person as the situation stands today. Then you need to have open dialogue about this matter and decide if you are okay with the consequences.  Only you can make the decision of what is right for you.

My personal opinion is to get rid of him and move on. There are lots of great people of all different backgrounds in all different places that you can connect with.

-Akua