Traveling As An Interracial Couple


We traveled through 12 countries together and I can say that we LOVE to travel and I can share with you how we get through our adventures no matter what.  We both have an open mind. If you have been following this blog for awhile, then you know that I keep saying that being open creates peace and more harmony AND love.

I get excited when I see other interracial couples hanging out, especially when I travel abroad.  In most cases though, the interracial couples I see are also travelers from the North America.  As I traveled through Colombia, Ecuador, Brazil, Chile, I didn’t see any interracial couples that were native to land.  That could be a for a few reasons, which would all be assumptions on my part.  The simple and obvious statement is that there is less diversity outside of North America.  We can’t expect to see a lot of interracial couples, so we might stand out in some countries.  It won’t necessarily be bad, but we might have to get used to people looking because it is still sort of unusual in some places.

Interracial couples used to take into consideration, safe places for interracial couples to travel.  Couples had to plan which highways were safe to drive and what road stops were the most suitable.  We know racism still exists in the world and there may still be some areas in the world where couples have to decide whether they feel welcome or not. I am happy to report that so far, we have received nothing, but love wherever we have gone. People have looked at us here and there, but I believe it is because we look interesting. Really, it is true.  I don’t mind people looking at us because I would look at us if I didn’t see couples like us very often. I would look with love and interest to no more about their life.

For our travel adventures, we usually look for a deal and we are quiet spontaneous.   We like to look online for the best deals and bids and we go where we can score an awesome experience with culture and indulge in great food.  We look at blogs and Tripadvisor for sights to see and things to do.  Usually my husband leaves it to me to pick the places I want to see. Since we are a casual, easy going couple with no kids, we are super flexible and we sometimes roll with the punches.

I love looking at pictures and often look at Instagram pics of the cities we are going to. No matter where we go, we have an open mind because we are expecting something different.  We are different from each other and we welcome differences because that creates a colorful life. A life that is filled with more beauty. So that’s it, just have an open mind when you travel. You have to have an open mind with each other and with the people that you interact with. Travel smart and always be safe.


Color Blind or Color Aware

Ice Cream Party

I often hear people say that race does not matter and that they do not see color.  They say “I am colorblind” or use #colorblind in their social media posts. This comes with great intentions, I’m sure of it.  For me, I prefer to say that I see color. Now let me tell you why and what this means for me.

I embrace my black race. My parents came from Africa and I therefore am African and share a North American culture with my heritage.  Everywhere I go, I am black.  My husband is Iranian. He looks Iranian to me, but when we travel especially to Spanish speaking countries, people seem to think he has Latin heritage.  Needless to say we stand out.  I’m okay with that.  People see what they see.  There is no blindness happening here.

The world was created with a variety of nature and wonder, which includes humankind.   We exist in different shapes, sizes, and color and it is evident and beautiful.  God created color. We learn from an early age about primary colors and mixing color palettes to create even more bright, bold, dark, and fancy colors.  We must see color, embrace, experience and show off the beauty of all colors.  I choose to be color aware because I lack if I choose not to see color.

In good faith, I know what people mean, when they say they are color blind. They are simply stating that they will not discriminate and they have love for all people.  I think it is important that we not ignore the colors (the races) that exist. It is real, so let’s keep it real and talk about race.  Don’t avoid that we are different. Instead let our differences bring us together.

Love for all race and color,


Interfaith Dating and What You Have to Discuss Before The Wedding

Even if you believe in love at first sight, you don’t really know if you will be walking down the aisle, saying your “I dos” and living happily ever after.  In fact, your faith may not even include walking down any aisle.  You may be super charged and excited to have your wedding before you discover all the obstacles that come into play.  Let’s put that aside for a moment.  You ought to be excited about the big event and what it means for you as you plan to spend your life together.  Key point here, plan to spend your life together.  I want to give some pointers about planning because you will have to face your differences and it won’t be good if you have swept it under the rug.  I believe that our differences can enrich us and bring us closer together, but you must have open dialogue.

Here are a few tips to help you get through your differences:

  1. Talk about your faiths openly.  What you like about it and what you don’t.  How your faith will be actualized in your life as a couple and as you build your family. Do not deny that you have differences.
  2. Understand the culture that you plan to create for your family and how both faiths weaves in. Let love be the root of everything because it is.
  3. Be open about experiencing each others faith.  It doesn’t mean it is time to convert. If converting doesn’t make sense to you, why would you do it?  Don’t lose your identity. Remember your culture and faith shaped who you are today and that is who your partner fell in love with. Work together and remember each other needs to be true to their identity.
  4. Don’t have expectations of each other unless you both agree to them.  If you’re planning to continue going to the temple and you think he will start going after the wedding…guess again my dear. That likely isn’t going to happen.

The main thing that gets us through everything is communication and what is most important is that no matter what we share the same values. We have the same dreams and desires.  Build a strong foundation and start building that foundation before your get married.

With love,


How to Deal With an Argument

You both grew up in a different household with different cultures.  Now when you come together, you may notice that certain things annoy you about your partner.  So what should you do?

I remember we had a recent dispute about time management and how I manage my time.  Funny enough, my husband doesn’t manage his time perfectly either, but he makes it a point to let me know that I can do better.  While he is right, I still want to debate about how wrong he is. I grew up with a laid back mentality.  So I take things at the pace that I want to complete something.  I am organized in my own way.  He is always in a rush to get things done.

Here are some tips on how to have a decent discussion rather than shouting and spewing crazy things at each other when you face a disagreement about a certain matter.

  1. Listen to each other carefully.
  2. Give each other a chance to respond with no interruptions.
  3. Speak with love.
  4. Remember all the positive things about each other and say them too.
  5. You do not have to agree on everything, but you should respect each other and found a happy place to heal and move on from the matter.



So you are dating a cheater, now what?

So you are dating a man and when you first met he seemed charming and responsible. You got to know him a little more and you still felt he was a good match for you.  Before you know it, you are calling him your boyfriend and the relationship is progressing pretty fast.  As you begin to fall in love with him, he is beginning to show signs of cheating and less interest in his relationship with you.  You previously heard that men of his kind (or race) cheat, but this is not always true. Plus, the guy you snagged was not like this at all.  Unfortunately, you just discovered that he is cheating and you don’t know what to do.

What should you do now?

This dilemma is not about race, this is about a man that betrayed you.  First, decide if you are okay with dating this person as the situation stands today. Then you need to have open dialogue about this matter and decide if you are okay with the consequences.  Only you can make the decision of what is right for you.

My personal opinion is to get rid of him and move on. There are lots of great people of all different backgrounds in all different places that you can connect with.


Foundational Friday: Be Calm and Carry On Applies to Interracial Dating Too

How many times have you seen Be Calm and Carry On or Be Calm and Drink Coffee written on a mug or a shirt.  This idiom works for interracial dating too. Be calm and date on.   Don’t spend even a second worried about what others think. Focus on you and your partner.  What works for you?  Be calm about your union, enjoy your union and love your union. Love your differences and always see the light in your relationship.



Foundational Friday: Speak Up


Do not judge, or you too will be judged -Matthew 7:1

Yesterday on our Facebook page, I posted a video from the show What Would You Do. The clip featured a woman getting her hair done in an Atlanta hair shop.  She spoke about her boyfriend and when the hairstylist found out that the woman’s boyfriend is white she proceeded to judge and spew hateful comments about why this woman should not be dating a white man.  If you haven’t seen the clip check it out here.  In this clip, we discover how people surrounding the conversation respond to what are they were hearing.

When you find yourself in a similar situation, are you bold enough to speak up? Do you have a solid foundation to proudly speak your mind for what you think is right?  You all know where I stand with this issue.  I am pro-interracial dating and I would have to put this hairstylist in her place.  If anyone is judging you for your choices, stand strong and speak up.

Foundational Friday: Know Your Roots

This Friday check in on yourself.  Remember all the great times that you had growing up. If you have no fond memories, then it is probably better not to dig up the past.  I’m thinking about knowing my roots because I don’t want to get lost in completely consuming my husband’s culture and he doesn’t want that either. We always check in with each other to learn more about each other’s roots.  When we have children we will pass on good traditions and memories from our past and also create our own that are unique to our interracial and biracial family.  Honoring our roots helps to build a strong and confident foundation.

Step Inside Another Culture

I had a dream about inviting a stranger into my home.  I am trying to analyze it and figure out what it means.  The stranger in my dream was a homeless man that I often spoke to and became friendly with.  One fine day, he asked me the following question: “If we are really friends, why don’t you invite me to your home?”

This question has me thinking today.  Is there someone in my life that I need to get closer with and that includes inviting them to my home?  Is there someone in your life that you could get closer with?  So often, we spend time talking casually with people and we call them our friends, but we never invite them into our home.  I believe that when you are able to share your space with someone that is the time when the true friendship begins.

When people that you want to share your life with come into your home, they really get to know you. They see how you live and what is important to you.  Getting to know someone of a different culture is very much the same.  You have to step into the culture to truly experience it and understand it better.  When you are dating someone of another culture, it is not enough to say that you are open to dating people of another culture.  It is more to say that you connect and the only way to connect is by doing.  Attend important events, participate in activities, learn a bit of the language, and customs.

Some people worry that by immersing in the other person’s culture, you are separating from your own.  Do not let that be true.  Multiculturalism is multi for a reason.  Spend time celebrating your own culture and the other person’s too and whatever other cultures you fancy.

Most importantly have fun!


Foundational Friday: Forgive

We are to live forward and not in the past.  For all of you who have been hurt by someone in a previous relationship, do not let that person’s race, culture, or faith affect you from dating someone of the same in the future.  You know all humans make mistakes and everyone is capable of hurting someone’s feelings.  I grew to understand that the people we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most, so leave race and everything our of it.

Take the story of Kim and Al, an interracial couple; she being Asian and he is Caucasian. They were together for 4 years and had an awesome time together. They traveled a lot and got to know each others families.  They saw each other graduate from university and start their first career positions.  They broke up about 5 years ago because Kim got bored and decided that she wanted to see other people.  After that, Al decided he wasn’t going to date Asian girls anymore.  I suppose, he no longer trusted having a future with an Asian woman and feared being dumped again.  Al still has the same mentality and he is single.

Al needs to live and let go of the past.  When Kim moved on it had nothing to do with her race or culture.  In fact, the man she married two years ago is Caucasian, just like Al.

So what is the message here….

The Foundational message here is to forgive and let go. When you forgive you let go of all the negative energy that lives within yourself.  Al could be missing out on a lot of great opportunities to have a successful relationship with an Asian woman again or even any woman for that matter.  People are allowed to choose what is right for them.  Let it be.

Forgive yourself, forgive her, and allow yourself to live again.